Strange and wonderful days.
I’ve been feeling the ups and downs of an emotional roller coaster. The wind in my hair, the furious pace of the ride, the exhilaration. Big swells of emotion within. And then it occurred to me. I’m not numb anymore.
The date was…a date, with butterflies in my stomach (and in his), wine, conversation. At some point, I was feeling like it was too much about him in the conversation, and I decided to be brave and say something. “You can ask me questions, you know. If you don’t ask me questions, it makes me think you’re not interested.” With his gaze and his words and possibly the entirety of his cells he said “I am very interested.” He held my hands. He kissed them. I liked it.
I am still terrified of all of this. Perhaps not so surprising after the end of a marriage. I told him that my pattern is to run away from relationships when they scare me, and that I was working on not running right now. He said that he would respect whatever I need in the end, but that he would run after me.